Post-Zombie Reflections

zombieSo, as you know, zombies took over my blog last week.

It was a horrific experience, initially.

I cowered in a corner of my office, trembling. I didn’t move to eat or sleep, and I dared not think because I was terrified they’d sense my brain pulsating and rip into it.

But then something strange happened.

As I watched their black blood stain my blog, I began to like them.

Now, I know liking zombies may be outside the realm of understanding for even the most tolerant of us. But honestly, they’re not so bad.

Yeah, okay, they eat people and all. But they only do that to survive. They don’t enjoy it.

Okay, maybe they do.

But if there was something else on the menu that would keep them undead, I’m sure they’d eat that instead. Eating our brains isn’t a personal attack on us.

Well, maybe it is.

But they don’t mean for it to be.

Perhaps we can look at it as a sort of flattery instead. I mean, of all the brains on the planet that zombies could dig into, they choose ours. Tell me that doesn’t make you feel special. Of course it does.


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If I Were A Zombie


Song: If I Were A Zombie

Artist: Stephanie Mabey

Country: Zombie City, USA

Genre: Zombie Rock

Mood: Rockin’ zombie love song…it’s all about the heart…so refreshing to meet a zombie lover longing for something besides brains.


Zombie Music Monday


The Exorcist

Song: Theme Song From The Exorcist (Tubular Bells)

                  Artist: Mike Oldfield

                                         Country: England

                                                         Genre: Scary as Hell


Mood: A hand crawling up your spine…to the back of your neck…through your hair, like a spider, until you can’t take it anymore & let out the most guttural scream that rises from your gut like an uncontrollable vomit gush.


Zombie Music Monday


Medieval Zombies

medieval-zombieWhere do zombies come from, anyway?

It’s not like God created them.

I mean, every human attribute is gone.

We’ve heard that zombies have something to do with Haitian voodoo; the word ‘zombie’ means “animated corpse” in some form of Creole I am not familiar with. I did learn Haitian Creole during my post-quake work there, but there is no word for zombie as we define it.

Moreover, I attended a few voodoo ceremonies there and they are nothing like what we might imagine. No stumbling zombies roaming the island in search of human flesh. Just very much alive Haitians touched by religious fervor.

And a couple of pints of clèrin.


Stumbling? Yes.

Zombies? Not any that I ever saw.

I mean, no one tried to eat me.

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Zombie Discrimination

This Halloween Smackdown goes to the growing trend to discriminate against a portion of our society who have no control over their no-longer-human proclivities.


Yes. I’m talking about zombies.

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Slugs vs. Geckos

morning-sleepy-personYou are not a morning person.

At all.

Mornings for you, no matter how well you’ve slept, mean shuffling sluggishly through a thick fog that takes a full hour to clear.

Silence is key.

Your brain synapses are awakening verrrrry slowly.

Average-decibel sounds are magnified. Normal motion is a full-on attack to your somnolent senses. Aggressive interaction could possibly knock you into a coma.

No, you don’t drink. You’re not on drugs. You’re not in a bad mood, either. This is just your physical make up, it’s how you’re programmed.

You are a morning slug.

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