Stinky ‘Stuff’: Can’t Get Enough

stinky-smell-faceRemember that “Yuck!” face you made at the last ‘Stinky Stuff‘ post?

Remember how I warned you to save that face for this post?

Well, warm up your “Yuck!” face muscles.

‘Cuz chances are you’ll pull something screwing up your face while reading this post!

When it comes to the question of what sparks eros, there is nothing as sublime as the strong, clear scent of one’s not-too-recently bathed beloved.”

Hugo Schwyzer

man-and-woman-embracingSigh!

Such poetic expression of man’s love for erogenous stench.

But is Hugo alone in his rhapsody of a woman’s stinky ‘stuff‘?

What about guys who wretch rather than worship the stink? Are these guys more ‘normal’ than Hugo?

Not according to some stink lovers.

But brace yourself. Because these stinky ‘stuff’-loving voices are not quite as romantic as Hugo.

These voices are verrrry expressive about just how stinky they like their ‘stuff.’

Continue reading

Writing Off Assholeys

broken-heartRemember how, in high school, when you thought you were the only girl in the world for some undercover asshole, he’d do something assholey that would dent your developing ego and piss you the hell off?

What did you do about it?

Some girls ranted & raged. Others curled up & cried. And then there were the ones who grabbed the nearest object & hurled it right at assholey’s head (or other parts).

Well, that was me.

Except I always grabbed words & regurgitated them all over assholey’s psyche.

I became high-school famous for this.

As one of the popular girls (social stratification in high school is unavoidable 🙄 ) it wasn’t expected that I’d put embarrassing feelings right out in the open like that. But I did. And doing so encouraged other girls in school to do it, too.

We victims of assholey-ness started a writing club, and anytime boyfriends assholey-ed us, we’d commandeer the gym or outdoor field in the middle of sports practice, and regurgitate our stories, poems, song lyrics, etc. all over the jock’s psyches.     Continue reading

5 Medieval Facts of Marriage

 “To marry for love without land or chattels could assure nothing but a life of penury.”

medieval-wedding

1.   In medieval times, more than half the population of any given area was generally under 20 years old. Life expectancy back then was only about 42 years, and so girls were married at the ripe old age of 12 to boys as young as 15.

Women were rarely allowed to choose who they wanted to marry, but men were free to choose their wives.

There was one exception to this rule: if the girl was from a poor family who could not afford a dowry, she was free to marry whomever she wanted because her family had nothing to bargain with in the typical monetary marriage arrangement.

2.  Medieval marriages had nothing to do with love. It was all about who had how much to give. Continue reading

Exposed

first-love-adolescents

Going thru my high school journals, I found pages of songs I wrote while in the throes of emotional turmoil.

This one was about my first love…

 

 

EXPOSED

I love you so much, it hurts inside

And frightens me to death.

Knowing that you own my heart,

Control my every breath.

.

How did this happen?

I fought to keep perspective from the start.

I’m scared…it’s not like me to suffer

From conditions of the heart.

.

Continue reading

Sex Suit

married-sexIf you are a married man living in France, and you do not have sex with your wife very often, here’s some advice.

Get a lawyer.

While other men get in trouble with the law for paying for sex, you may be in legal trouble for not having sex.

With  your wife.

According to European news service The Telegraph, a 51-year old man was sued by his 47-year-old wife in the amount of $10,000 euros (aprox. $14, 255 US) “in compensation for lack of sex over 21 years of marriage.”

On the bright side, this incentive to mate more often with your spouse could be considered a ‘legal’ aphrodisiac.

.

Would you sue your spouse for more sex?

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World News Wednesday

Feel Good

You want to feel good ALL the time.

Why can’t you feel good all the time?

Okay, maybe not ALL the time. But as much of the time as you can make it happen. And you know how to make it happen. A lot.

L-U-S-T.

burning-heart

 

With lust, in the beginning, it’s like being high all the time.

When you’re in love-lust with, let’s say, Alex, and Alex is in lust-love with you, every waking moment feels like you’re half a pill short of OD-ing on oxycodone.

 

 

You’ve never been prescribed oxycodone, but you’ve heard about its gift of the happiest of highs. And you were prescribed a delicious dosage of Percocet once, so you have an idea how deliriously happy that high must be.

But alas, the drug went the way of long-term relationships over time: the high leveled off and you began to feel like a zombie.

Why does that have to happen?

Why can’t relationships forever feel high, like they do in the beginning?

Why can’t that feeling stay?

Continue reading

Are You The Perfect Girlfriend?

My foreign eyes were enchanted

by this

Times of India article on how to Be the Perfect Girlfriend.

.

Hard to Get” took me completely by surprise,

since the title had my mind going in the exact opposite direction!

playing_hard_to_get.

Do you / Does your girlfriendmeet India’s criteriafor being the perfect girlfriend?

Does their criteria match our own?

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Foreign Eyes Friday