Mister Softee


Original post: Mike’s Look at Life

Thieves and socialists don’t make good businessmen. I learned this lesson, about myself, way back in 1966 at the tender age of seventeen.

My older brother was on his summer break from college, and it was my first summer in the last three that did not require me to attend summer school, so my father came up with the idea to put my brother and me in business. He believed that we could make money with a Mister Softee truck, selling ice cream to the hordes of children who would not be able to resist the obnoxious jingle, or the thought of sweet soft ice cream cooling them off, while running down their throats and faces.

The plan was simple enough. My dad would put up the necessary funds for us to rent the truck, and my brother and I would take turns driving our assigned route. We were taught how to mix the ice cream, run the register, nothing else, and off we went. Never mind that I had just received my driver’s license and that the truck was a beater with at least six inches of play in the steering wheel. Driving it was road roulette, and I don’t think it was legal to drive it at all.

As I weaved my way into the first neighborhood, I turned on the jingle from hell. Shrill and annoying, it was intended to make every dog in a five mile radius foam at the mouth.


Children would then see the foam, think of ice cream, and hear the jingle.

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Fox News Anchor Tells Kids: No Santa!

This Smackdown goes to the Fox News anchor who, just weeks before Christmas, announced to every child in America that there is no Santa.

Right before Christmas!


What. Was. She. Thinking??!!

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A Day in the Life: Fa La La La La – La La La – La!

christmas_presents_avalancheYou want to be the most giving parent possible.

You refuse to be a parental Scrooge at Christmastime.

How do parents limit the giving of gifts to their children on the very day of the year dedicated to showering gifts upon kids?

Parents who do so, well, let’s just say you’ll pray for their kids at Christmas mass.

Your kid, on the other hand, is blessed with you as a parent.

In spite of misguided parents creating the next generation of self-flagellating adults who have minimal regard for their own self-worth, you are determined that your child know her worth. And isn’t it your job to fulfill your child’s wishes to the full extent of your ability?

Of course it is.

Whether by good behavior, or bad – she will learn that a parent’s love is always to be expected. You will teach her that rewards are hers just for being the light of your life. It is your duty as a loving, responsible parent to raise a healthy, happy child in a society peopled with self-loathing miscreants.

Anyone who thinks differently can stick their miserly belief system up…well, they can just keep their Scrooge-oriented beliefs to themselves. You will provide Christmas for your child as you see fit. Continue reading

The Girl Who Silenced the World for 5 Minutes

severn-cullis-suzukiHer name is Severn Cullis-Suzuki.

She is the daughter of world-renown environmental activist David Suzuki.

She was 12 years old when she gave this impassioned speech that silenced a forum at the 1992 United Nations Earth Summit – a forum of international diplomats and power mongers, all brought to tears by the pleas of a child.

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Congressman Deadbeat Dad Wins Pro-Family Award


This week’s Smackdown goes to the Family Research Council (FRC), a conservative advocacy group, for awarding Tea Party freshman Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) a 100% rating as a “True Blue” member of Congress who practices “unwavering support of the family.”


We thank Congressman Walsh, who has voted consistently to defend faith, family and freedom,” said FRC President & CNN pundit Tony Perkins.

I am proud and honored to be recognized by the Family Research Council as the only member from Illinois with a 100 percent pro-family voting record,” Walsh said in a news interview. “Defending American values have always been one of my top priorities, and this reward reaffirms my dedication to that fight.”

So, why the Smackdown?

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Roald Gold

So please, oh PLEASE, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away! And in its place you can install, a lovely bookshelf on the wall.”

Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)



Share your Blaque Diamonds!

See No Evil

This super-duper-Smackdown goes out to any and everyone in the Penn State University child sex rape scandal who:

see-hear-speak-no-evil1. Had even an inkling that kids were being molested by their defensive football coach Jerry Sandusky and KEPT QUIET ABOUT IT FOR NINE YEARS.

2. Covered for or defended those who covered for him.



How do you walk into a shower room, SEE a child “being subjected to anal intercourse (i.e. being RAPED – because, though our media must use p.c. terminology, make no mistake about it: sex with a child is RAPE), then just turn around and WALK OUT?

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