Bat piss & guano.
It’s in my hair, on my shoulders, splattered across the back of my neck, and God knows where else.
We’re rescuing a colony of bats that got trapped in someone’s attic, and pooping is an animal’s fight or flight response to being captured.
But guess what?
It’s part of our fight or flight response, as well.
It’s why sometimes people get so scared they pee on themselves. Like my coworker just did because he’s never seen so many bats in person. I won’t talk about how hilarious it was to see his reaction when they all started flying around, grazing his head.
He’s in the van now, cowering.
Pretending I’m in a tropical rainforest in Malaysia on a wildlife behavioral study as I sit here in smelly guano in the middle of this sweltering attic floor sweating, getting pissed & pooped on while texting friends, and typing this post out on my phone to keep busy & very still while I wait for these adorable guys (yes, bats are adorable – they really are! of course, they’re cuter when they’re not shitting on you) to settle down & become accustomed to me so I can begin slowly & quietly netting them.
Not even sure my plan will work. This is actually a job for animal control, not animal rescue. But we were called & I was sent because I have all my shots, and have worked with bats overseas, plus I adore bats & wanted to be sure any babies were handled properly.
I’m never more content than when surrounded by animals.
And what’s your (hopefully, guano-free) Blaque List?