Friday Blaque List 18

 Who I’m…

CHANNELING

Dian Fossey

dian-fossey-with-gorillas

.

WHY

I’ve just been offered another wildlife research assistant job.

With lowland gorillas!

gorilla-with-young

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WHERE

Cameroon

map-of-cameroon

.

How I’m…

FEELING

Devastated!

.

WHY

Because of university studies, I can’t accept the job.

student-studying

.

WHAT I’M GOING TO DO NOW

Cry in my drink at the get-together my friends are having to cheer me up.

sad-girl

.

AFTER THAT?

Stumble home & cry myself to sleep.

sad-girl

.

TOMORROW?

1. Get over it.

I only allow myself 48 hrs. of wallowing – 24 to whine, 24 to cry.

Anything after that degenerates into a shameful, perspective-free pity party. 🙄

2. Pray.

That, with their work, the researchers are able to help prevent the destruction of these majestic creatures.

gorillas-africa

How do you survive massive disappointment?

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Blaque List

sylverblaque-blaque-list

13 thoughts on “Friday Blaque List 18

  1. Pingback: Society 101: Human Gorilla Games | Sylver Blaque

  2. Sylver, I won’t say that your writing group needs you more than the gorillas do, even though selfishly I’d like to!! I know it’s disappointing, but this won’t be the last great opportunity coming your way, I’m sure.

    • Oh, Lisa you are a darling! Thanx so much! And I hope this isn’t my last great opp…I mean, I know it isn’t but it feels like it is when you’re wallowing in your own muck 😦

  3. Oh noooo! What a chance! And damn! I cry with you, I would go crazy if I were you! Big hugs. But as I always say, if you don’t get what you want, it s not because universe don’t want you to have it. It s because they will offer you something even better in future 😀

    • Thank you so much! I AM going crazy. One minute I feel like, did I make the right choice? The next minute, I’m like, I DID make the right choice. I know I did! Right? Did I?? Omg, I should just GO! No, no. Can’t. Must finish degrees, must not get distracted. But GORILLAS! I love, worship & adore gorillas. I dream of helping to save them from extinction (which they will be in aprox. 20 years if drastic changes are not made!) But I can do more with degrees than without them & if I leave now to live in a jungle with gorillas, I may fall so deeply in love I may never return! But…well, you get the idea. I’m a pendulum of emotions right now. But I do believe, like you, that the Universe offers opportunity within disappointment. Thanks so much for the hug – I needed it! 🙂

  4. Devastated for you. I’m allotting you about four hours of angst for the upcoming weeks, because there are going to be moments, I can tell you.

    For the absolute worst disappointments, I give myself permission to read Nakoa’s Woman by Gayle Rogers for the umpteenth time. Is this an old romance novel that most people who read it threw away decades ago? Yes. But it’s about making wise decisions – and most of all about the fact that it’s not really the decision, but how you live the decision that really matters.

    How can I not love a book where a wise old Indian Chief says, “Your actions have started the circle and every circle has to meet its beginning…We are all part stranger to ourselves…Someone has come forward who always was you, but was in the shadows. Keep her in the light; accept her and use her strength.”?

    May this difficult decision bring out a stranger in you who will bring new strength.

    • Jane, thank you so much for these comforting words. I love the quote you shared here: “Your actions have started the circle, and every circle has to meet its beginning…” Love this. There’s something strangely empowering about it. This was indeed a difficult decision, but as you said, these kinds of things can only bring new strength. Not feeling it right now, but I know I will…

    • I tried everything. But if I withdraw now, I fail or get an incomplete, lose all my money for the semester, then would have to start every class over from scratch. No pause button. I think my 48 hrs. of wallowing may extend to 48 days…or weeks. 😦

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