Flipsyde: Movie Talk

movie-theatreShe’s been flapping her gums ever since opening credits.

Maybe I should have bought popcorn to keep her pie hole full.

Then at least I’d have a chance to hear parts of the movie between mouthfuls.

Does she not notice the dirty looks we’re getting? The guy behind her has nudged the back of her seat twice already, and the people in the row in front of us keep turning around to glare.

Is she blind?

She’s definitely not mute.

Her mouth is a runaway train.

woman-blabbingShe’s talking to the characters in the movie, asking them questions, telling them what to do next, calling them names.

She’s got a running commentary going about the action, the dialog, the wardrobe, the plot.

She’s telling me the backstory of each actor that enters a scene. If she doesn’t know the actor or his backstory, she makes one up.

Who’s that kid? He looks familiar. He looks a lot like Heath Ledger. Wouldn’t it be funny if that was Heath Ledger’s secret kid? Like, he got some girl pregnant right before he died, and she’s keeping quiet about it because she was married and now she’s passing this kid off as her husband’s…

You mean like you’re passing yourself off as someone who’s watching a movie?

Look at her. That is not her hair. And you just know she’s had work done. Why do Hollywood stars think nobody’ll notice they sprouted triple-D cups overnight? Or that they can’t blink anymore because their faces are stretched so tight?

exasperated-guyIf I just got up and left, didn’t come back…would that be wrong?

Awww! That was so sweet! Wasn’t that adorable? I love movies like this, when they show the soft side of a tough guy. It’s closer to the reality of humanness than having only one-dimensional characters, you know? What do you think?

I think you should shut up.

Ooooo! Did you see that? He almost got killed! He was three seconds away from being decapitated! Did you see? That was great! I wish I could rewind it. Movies should have individually operated remotes, don’t you think? Wouldn’t that be great?

Definitely. Then we could all rewind to hear the parts you’re blabbing over.

This is a ridiculous plot. Who wrote this thing, anyway? Why would that cop rat on his partner? That would never happen. It’s so far from reality that it’s laughable! What do you think about that scene? Did you believe it?

I wouldn’t know. I didn’t get to hear that scene.

people-in-movie-theatre-staring-at-talker

Neither did anyone sitting near us.

👿

********************************************************************************************************************

Shhhhhhh!!!

shhh-finger-to-lipsJeez, people are so rude!

You don’t just publicly shush someone like that. Who do these people think they are, anyway? Shush-ing me?

I paid the same $12 for my movie ticket as they did. I can talk if I want to; I’m not talking to them. I’m talking to my date – who should be defending me against these rude shush-ers.

Come to think about it, my date’s not saying much of anything.

I’m doing all the talking.

I hate dates like this, where the guy just sits there staring straight ahead, contributing nothing to the conversation. This guy hasn’t said a word since the movie started. No opinion about the action, the dialog, the wardrobe, the plot. Nothing.

annoyed_womanAll I got was a tight smile in response to my fantasy scenario about a child actor in the movie who is the spitting image of Heath Ledger.

My silent date doesn’t even comment on the actors’ almost-human plastic faces comically attempting to display emotion in pivotal scenes.

And, I could swear I caught a flicker of annoyance at my observation about the vulnerability of the main bad-guy character.

No matter how much I try to make conversation, he just sits there.

Movies are supposed to be fun, an enjoyable interaction between people. It’s an opportunity to exchange jokes and poke fun, hash Hollywood gossip and trivia, inspire discussion about the topic of the movie. But from this date, I’m getting none of this.

What I am getting is shush-ed by strangers. I’m getting the back of my seat kicked repeatedly. I’m getting strange looks from people in the seats in front of us.

What is wrong with people?

Why do they come out to a crowded public place to watch a movie quietly? That is patently ridiculous. Crowded public places are the antithesis of quiet.

libraryBesides, it’s just a movie. Get over yourselves. It’ll be on Netflix by next month, and you can watch it uninterrupted in the privacy of your own living room.

But now, here, you’re in a public forum. It’s a movie theatre, people. Not a library. Shush-ing is for libraries. Got it?

Hang on. Is that a baby crying?

How rude!

Why do people bring babies to movies?

Get a sitter, or stay home. Don’t come here disrupting our enjoyment. That really pisses me off. It’s selfish, and inconsiderate. How’s anyone supposed to hear the movie through all that loud wailing?

And why does it take the parent so long to get up and take the baby out?

Get out!

Your kid is crying in the middle of a movie.

We. Can’t. Hear.”

crying-baby

Are you a movie talker? Or a silent watcher?

How do you feel about the other side of the story?

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See all Foreign Eyes Friday Flipsyde posts!

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203 thoughts on “Flipsyde: Movie Talk

  1. I have to say I’m a talker but because of that reason, I usually don’t watch movies in the theater because I also get ants in my pants and want to walk around, pause to go pee, grab water, eat snacks from the kitchen, make side-bar commentaries to my hubby and friends, press rewind if I didn’t catch something, and any noise that is made, I’m not annoyed by because it’s in my home and I’m not worried about missing stuff from the movie. I can’t remember the last movie I watched at the theater but my husband and I aren’t huge movie watchers anyways-we cancelled cable, Netflix, and Blockbuster from our entertainment fund because it was used so little!

    Thanks for the funny posting!

    • Way to cut costs, Kathy! I’m actually thinking about doing this when I travel. I’m always gone so long, but still paying those cable bills. 😐

      Thanx for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed your visit! 🙂

  2. Haha! Fantastic post. I am so on the side of the silent watcher – at least in theaters. Most of the time at home, too … I’ve been known to turn up the volume on the TV in response to someone talking through a movie at home 🙂

  3. bwahahaha, the whole dialogue just cracked me up! I’m personally a silent movie goer. I don’t mind babies, because I get it. Although I think there are certain types of movies you really should leave your kids home, seriously.

  4. I’m a silent watcher in the theaters but can be a talker at home.
    BTW I have taken my baby to the theater. Only because that is the only way I could watch a new movie with my family. Pretty much the only time I get out besides shopping/errands/dr visits. Only done that 2 times and once she slept through the whole time and the other I had to take her out for crying. I hope all will be sympathetic to the mother with the crying baby because maybe she can’t get a babysitter and its her only break from home.

    • Hi, Clarinda! Home is definitely the safe zone for talkers. I’m a full-out talker (bordering on babbler) sometimes in my own living room. And I understand about your baby, but…hmmmm…not sure a theatre full of silent watchers will be able to successfully battle thru frustration and anger toward sympathy. 😯 Good luck with that! 😉

  5. I’m usually the one who gets annoyed with people talking, but I don’t say anything. Like you said, it’s just a movie. Of course, I have also been the one who took a talkative child with me to the movies before…

  6. I’m definitely the silent watcher type. If I go in a group, though, there’s always a noisy one among us that makes us look like *that* group of people who won’t shut up. It’s fun despite, though.

    • Haha! I guess in any group there’s bound to be a movie talker. But in the ears of silent watchers, 1 movie talker is one too many. And if you’re with them, well that just makes you a movie talker by proxy! 😛

  7. Hahaha, that was great! Myself, I’m a quiet movie watcher, just because I can’t hear very well when more than one thing is going on. Love the different points of view, though!

  8. Great story! I didn’t find the talking girl’s part so convincing, but that is because I.like.it.quiet.at.the.movies! I don’t think anything would justify talking aloud like that.

    I sometimes talk in my husband’s ear but only during the loud bits so no one else can hear it. He’s not much of a talker either…

  9. we totally tell people ” can you please be quiet”… they usually get embarrased…but we were at a movie recently and the movie was SO LOUD that about 5 lil old laidies kept yelling too one another that the “movie is too loud” “what” “the movie is too loud”

  10. I prefer peace and quiet. I want to be taken away by the story and pretend I’m there.
    I’ve been to movies with these people and I’m not too southern to say, “Zip it!”
    Movies are my luxury and I think folks should respect it like they use to.

  11. When I’m at the theatre, I’m definitely all for quiet once the movie starts. At least at home if someone talks and you miss something, you can rewind! Movie talkers definitely annoy me.

    Great post, thanks! 🙂

  12. I like to watch my movies in peace and really get involved in them.But my husband likes to talk about them! So we watch dvds at home generally!

    • I’m the same way – love to fall deeply into a plot, and don’t want to be yanked out of it by commentary. I’m still waiting for some savvy movie theatre to offer headphones for us silent watchers – or at least provide seat plugs for us to bring our own. Man, whoever comes up with this will be a zillionaire overnight!

  13. I’m definantly the silent type. My husband is usually quiet but like to laugh out loud at things. He just can’t seem to keep it in. Oh well, usually others agree and are laughing too. I guess it really just depends on the group of people there.

    • That’s a good observation. I think sometimes it does depend on the people around you. If everyone’s quiet & you’re the only one movie talking, you can pretty much count on the fact that you’re annoying all the silent watchers around you. But if everyone is movie talking, then you can feel right at home!

  14. Super cute post! I love it! My 15 year old daughter has a habit of asking lots of questions when we watch movies at home, but we can just pause it…

    • That happened to me, too! Your solution of steering clear of movie theaters with her is perfect. And here’s another friendship-saving suggestion: if she insists on going to the movies, choose movies that you either don’t really want to see, or ones that you’ve seen already. Then she can babble away w/out being strangled – by you! 😛

  15. I loved this! When I’m at a theater, I like to be quiet. But we rarely go to the theater because I don’t like paying to listen to chatty people! When it’s just my husband and I at home, I talk a bit more, but not a ton!

  16. I’m mostly a quiet watcher, although there are movies I can’t get through without making comments (the new Muppet movie was the most recent). Honestly, I watch movies at home more often so I can talk as much as I want through them.

    • I feel so bad for silent watchers, that they’re forced to stay home by movie talkers 😦 But then, should I also feel bad for movie talkers, that they’re forced to clam up by silent watchers? It’s a conundrum…

  17. I can’t stand chit chat and noise when I’m watching a movie, especially if I’m at the theater (which is a rare treat for me these days). I’m not even very sympathetic to people who want to chat during Netflix. But I’ve had kids who’ve had meltdowns in the theater (and I’ve dragged them out as quickly as I could, I promise!) so I understand what it’s like to be on that side of things, too.

  18. I have changed through the years. In my teens I was a talker and didn’t even realize there were people around me. Early twenties I was a talker, but quiet not to bother those around me. When I was pregnant, I was silent as I used movies as an opportunity to catch up on some sleep. Now I rarely go to the movies but when I do it is often a kid movie or cartoon and I miss half of it making trips for refils on drinks, popcorn or bathroom breaks! 🙂

    • Thank you, Dianna! And good point about the expense of hearing only portions of a movie. Maybe silent watchers could petition for an MTA (movie talker annoyance) discount? 😯

  19. WOw, that is one of the most creative articles I’ve read in quite a while! I really enjoyed it! Had me laughing quite a bit!

    I’m definitely a Silent watcher, although, there are at times when I whisper stuff to the Husband where there is something that is a secret joke between us. but we always keep it quiet.

    We have taken our babies to the theater, but we always plan it around the nap time, so they usually sleep through the entire movie, and we never take them when they get old enough to crawl or walk around. But when we had just the one kid, and he was a new baby, we could barely afford the movie, let alone a sitter, so we took him with us, and he slept through the movie and it was nice to actually get out of the house for a change.

    I’m alright with people bringing babies to the movies, because you never know their circumstance. maybe they can’t afford the sitter. But I do appreciate it if the child is being noisy to take them out if you can’t get it to be quiet. And I definitely can’t stand when people bring their kids to the theater and let them run around the theater.

    • Hi Amber, so happy you enjoyed this post! And thanks for your detailed comment. I think it’s very thoughtful of you to plan movie trips w/ baby around nap times. Shows consideration for others. 🙂

  20. I’m a watcher in public, but a talker at home lol. 🙂 The thing that drives me nuts about going to the movies is watching someone not only answer their cell phone but stay IN the theater while the movie is playing and have an entire conversation. :/

  21. Nice post. Unfortunately, the people who *need* to read it are the ones who will sympathize with the second part, not the first part. You just don’t talk in a movie theater. It’s always been rude. If you want to talk through a movie, watch it at home. By yourself.
    We don’t go to movies because my son has Asperger’s, among other things, and he *can’t* sit still and be quiet during a movie. So we watch them at home where he can move around and make noises if he needs to. Because letting him do that in a theater full of people who have paid $8-$10 to SEE and HEAR the movie, would be RUDE.

    • Lol! 😆 Made up? I wish. I actually have a cousin I based this person on. Needless to say, whenever she says, “Hey! Let’s go see a movie!” everyone in the family cringes!

  22. I am an avid movie watcher, but do most of it at home. I have experienced some people like you talked about, but I ususally just tune them out. I seem to find my self almost alone in the theaters that I visit. I usually wait to see a movie until it has been out awhile, hense the solitary experience. I have come to learn that many people are rude now days and need to open their eyes to that this world is not about them……

    Have a beautiful day.

    • Thanks, Laurie, for this thoughtful comment. I understand what you’re saying about waiting to see a movie until it’s been out awhile. I do this for movies that I really want to see (hear!) but that aren’t online yet. Smart strategy. You have a sweet day, too! 🙂

  23. LMAO at how you conveyed an important message. people are so thoughtless these days. we’ve become a “ME” society and i, for one, don’t like it- and won’t let my kids be like that!

  24. Absolutely, hilarious. I live in India where people spontaneously clap during scenes and in some movies they’re known to get up and dance and/ or repeat dialogues aloud because they’ve seen the movie so many times before!! I hardly watch movies in the theater any more (you’re say ‘naturally’) – not because of this but sheer laziness 😉

  25. Honestly, I rarely go to theater anymore due to the prices, and people like that. We head out to the drive in a lot, or just wait until it comes out on DVD usually.

    • Oh, drive-ins! I’ve only ever been to one, when I visited a friend in a state that has them. I loved it! I was like a kid in a candy store for the first time (omg! that is soooo cool! what does that do? how does it work? omg, this is so cool!) I definitely converted to a movie talker (actually, more like a movie babbler) that night. I don’t understand why every town doesn’t have a drive-in. They are so much FUN!

  26. I am silent movie watcher too.

    But when I’m watching movie at home with my nieces and nephews It’s the exact opposite; coz I love to tease them by asking questions and giving comments to distract their concentration. bad eh? I love those kiddos anyway.

  27. That. Is. Hysterical. We were just talking about how we hate going to movies when there are teenyboppers there screaming and texting through the movie, but I have been guilty of talking once or twice so I guess I’m only annoyed when other talk.

    • You THINK you’re generally quiet? I can relate to that. Sometimes I catch my mouth moving before I have time to control it! 😛

      Definitely come back to share a story about Hunger Games movie talkers!

  28. I am usually quiet at the movies but sometimes if it is a dollar movie and I’m going with someone who has already seen it then I may ask them some questions. Dollar movies usually aren’t too packed. Love all the pictures!

  29. I am definitely a silent watcher. If I absolutely must say something to my husband, I whisper it directly into his ear. I try my best not to disturb others. Movie talkers (here, it’s usually teens that do nothing but chat and text during the entire film) are one reason we don’t go to the movies much.

  30. Wow – I like your take on both sides of the story! I’m a quiet movie watcher, and don’t like talkers, but it is interesting to think about the other person’s point of view!

  31. When I’m watching a movie, there can be no talking. Quite please! So I try not to sit around a lot of people. Sometimes, stuff happens but, thats just me. I really loved your post. Great job!

    • Omg, my friend’s husband does this! And ALWAYS at the most crucial part of the plot! Like right at the moment the killer’s identity is being revealed…the prince is about to propose to the working girl…the car is about to go over the cliff with everyone inside! I want to duct tape his mouth shut but I’m not sure if we’d still be friends after that. I mean, you can’t just slap duct tape on a friend’s hubby’s face without repercussion…can you? 😯

  32. Next time I have the $$ to see a movie, I’ll let you know! It’s been so long, I’ve completely forgotten! I mean really, $12 or more for maybe two hours when you can get it from the library in a year for free? 😉

  33. Fantastic post! I was amused because I could relate 100%! I’m definitely a silent watcher and it drives me crazy when I sit near someone who talks to the person they are with through the entire movie. I don’t need your running commentary!

    • Thank you – glad you enjoyed it! And, yeah, running commentary…I have friend who does this without taking a breath. So I only watch movies I’ve already seen (or wasn’t that keen to see anyway) with her. That way, I don’t have to gag her & we can remain friends! 🙂

  34. I am a silent movie watcher. I always turn off my cell phone, and I’m quiet during the movie. I do go to the movies with my friend who is visually impaired and also hard of hearing and I will speak quietly to her reading things on the screen because she can’t see them. But we usually go in the daytime when it’s not prime time and there aren’t a lot of people around.

  35. hee hee hee… this is why we watch movies at home. As a mom of 5 kids, I know how difficult it is to keep everyone quiet and sitting still. It’s so irritating to other people (especially those who do not have children)! The funny thing is whenever my husband and I go out without our kids, we end up being seated next to people with the loudest children (especially at restaurants)! haha! This was a well-written blog. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud!

  36. 😀 I sat laughing the entire time. I love how you told the story from the one talking because I am definitely the quiet, dirty looking, shhh-ing person. And I love how these same oblivious people then have issues with anyone else making noise. Thanks for uplift today!

  37. When I was younger, I did a lot of talking during movies. It felt like I couldn’t get through it without saying something. Now I like to be quiet and listen. You never know what your neighbor is feeling; it’s more considerate to let them experience the movie in their own way.

  38. I’m definitely a quiet movie watcher, with just whispered comments to my date every now and then. I think I’m neurotically polite though. My biggest issue with movies isn’t so much the talking. I can handle that. It’s the fact that even in an empty theater, some tall person always picks the seat right in front of me. I’m only 5’2″, so I want to scream “Can’t you see I’m short?!? I can’t possibly see over your head!”

    • Lmao! 😀 Omg, I hear this so much. And I experience it so much! I am a total advocate for tiered seating; it’s the only way to assure that everyone can see the screen. Otherwise you end up leaning uncomfortably to one side (and having to switch sides every time Lurch moves!). Good one, Nikki!

  39. ok, that was interesting to read, lol… I would say that when it comes to movies… before kids I was the silent watcher… with kids… I try to be but they are not… forcing me to also not be silent. “I need to go potty” “brother kicked me” You know what I mean.

    • Hmmm…I wonder if there’s a whole other category of movie-watchers with kids? Like, ex-silent watchers/now involuntary movie-talkers? And should they be shush-ed as standard movie-talkers, or awarded shush-immunity? Definite food for thought….

  40. Two guys started talking through ‘The Woman in Black,’ which I saw last week. Listening to them was just like listening to an episode of ‘Beavis and Butthead.’ It wasn’t funny. I turned around and said, “Hey, please be quiet.” Then they were quiet, and I was much, much happier.

    Talking during movies is rude. Texting or checking your phone during movies is rude. Bringing children too young to understand the rules is very rude. If you can’t sit quietly through a movie, then don’t come to one!

  41. That idea as a post in gerneral is very creative. The flipside, is something I may have to adopt now and then. Genious writing style.

  42. That is hillarious! What great writing!

    I like it quiet – but I laugh too loud!

    Unfortunately hubby and I only make it to one movie a year in the theaters. It’s just too expensive!

    🙂
    Lisa

    • Thank you, Lisa! I think laughing, luckily, is acceptable by silent watchers because even they laugh out loud at funny parts. (Am I correct, here, silent watchers??) But I hear you about movie prices – sheesh! 😯

  43. That was hysterical. And I don’t talk during movies, but since I am a mom of 3, I understand that babies cry (although the parents should really have left them with a sitter). Thanks for the laugh!

  44. I am a silent watcher and I can not stand when others talk through movies. (Or concerts.) I came to see the show not hear your running commentary. Because of this reason, I very rarely go to the movies. I just wait for it to be on Netflix or Red Box to watch it at home where I can sit silently or yell at the TV in the privacy of my own home.

    • I’m a silent watcher, too Katie. But I must admit that I enjoy watching the reactions of all the people sitting near movie-talkers. It’s almost as entertaining as the movie! 🙂

  45. Iam sooo bad for the talking during movies thing IF i have a HUGE interest in it like The lorax or The Hunger Games… i did it for all the Harry Potters tooo lol!!

    • Lol, well just be careful, Eschelle. Keep an eye out for silent watchers – some of them are known to throw taffy. They aim it at your mouth, hoping it goes it & keeps you busy chewing during pivotal scenes! 😛

  46. Love this! Ha! I’m a silent movie watcher. My hubby, on the other hand, has to point out every actor and what else they have been in. So annoying.

    • Hi, Deedra! So, you’ve hitched your lifelong wagon to a movie talker, huh? Well, here’s an idea: each time he movie-talks, just plant a kiss on him. Of course, you still may not get to watch the whole movie but at least you’ll be enjoying missing it! 🙂

  47. No talking, please. If I go to a movie it is because I want the peace and quiet of it. If I wanted interruptions (people yakking, phones ringing, kids crying, etc.) I would have stayed home and watched it on Netflix.

    • Drats, Angie, I left out movie phone-talkers! One of my friends called me the other day from her seat in the theatre. She was practically yelling! Here’s what she said: “Hey Sylver, guess where I am? In a movie. Guess what I’m doing? Trying to talk louder than the girl sitting in front of me blabbing on her cell while we’re all trying to watch the movie!” She was soooo pissed! I died laughing – still laughing right now just remembering it! 😀

  48. Pingback: 100 Comments On My Blog Event (Group 1) - Blogelina | Blogelina

  49. I talk during movies. I try to keep quiet, though. And we rarely go to movies in theaters, even then, its the cheap theater and usually not at all crowded, so I think it cuts down on annoying people when you’re not packed like sardines! I’ve never been shushed or had food thrown at me, though, so maybe I’m doing all right?

  50. Oh, gosh, I’m so embarrassed to admit that I’m a movie talker. lol But if someone expresses annoyance, I certainly shut up; I promise I do. What’s worse is that our family is split down the middle on recreational watching versus serious watching, so it gets a little irritating, hence the DVR recorder comes in handy.

    • Oh, don’t be embarrassed! Different strokes for different folks, right? It’s the reason I do this Foreign Eyes Friday section on my blog. I love hearing everyone’s opinions and learning from their particularities. This topic certainly is “split down the middle,” isn’t it? If your family ever comes to a consensus on this, please have them call my family because we battle this topic out every time we watch a movie!

  51. Forget that glaring and nudging the seat mumbo jumbo. That’s for spineless cowards. We throw handfuls of gobstoppers at talkers. And if they want to get big, well that’s just great. I got my crew with me and we’ll make short work of anybody that tries to ruin the movie by running their big fat stupid mouths. Go to Puerto Rico and ask about the 7pm Avatar showing in San Juan of 2009. They’ll know what you mean.

  52. On the rare occasion that I go to a movie (and it is because of the first type of moviegoer combined with Hollywood’s general output) that it is rare – I go to be entertained. If my goal were to conduct a running commentary I would have auditioned for a part.

  53. Remember when your mommy told you that we have to chew with our mouth closed at home, so we would remember to do that when we are out in public. Well, people are so used to watching movies at home while they chat with their spouse, text their best friend, do their nails and eat a pizza that they forget to how they are supposed to act in public. And that social part, that’s what you do at dinner or drinks AFTER the movie. That’s what I think anyway.

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