It feels weird.
You contemplate the things you’ll no longer be able to do.
No more chewing. No more biting. No more bottle-cap opening at the pub.
But on the bright side…
…there are irksome things you’re happy to be liberated from: no more brushing…no more grinding your teeth in your sleep.
Because you’ve had them removed.
It’s the best way to ensure your championship status. Now, no one will have an uglier face than you! 🙂
In 1267 England, some farmers started messing around, entertaining themselves during the long, arduous chore of harvesting crop.
By making faces at each other.
They got the idea from watching unknowing kids bite into their first crab apple. The sour taste screwed their little faces into grotesquely funny contortions. And so, “gurning” was born, and became a sport with an olympics of sorts held annually at England’s Egremont Crab Fair – an event sanctioned by King Henry III, who granted the fair a Royal Charter.
Fastforward to the 21st century. Egremont, England. The annual Crab Fair World Gurning Championship, where grown men hook huge horse collars around their necks to frame their faces as they compete to make the most grotesquely funny facial contortions humanly possible.
However, whereas King Henry III enjoyed these face-offs, the current Queen of England appears turned off.
Last year, a woman became the first female gurning champion to be accepted into the Guiness Book of World Records as the World’s Ugliest Woman.
And 5-time world gurning champion Peter Jackman had his teeth removed in 2000 to enable his face to contort more easily.
Would you have surgery to look uglier in order to excel in a sport?