Mass Hysteria Attributed to “Zombie” Attacks

woman-staring-at-zombie-walking-byDavid Barrow of Channel 3 News is now reporting that the mass hysteria which began in a small U.S. city, is now spreading overseas. Further, the hysteria appears to result from a sudden rash of attacks by crazed individuals.

Says Barrow, “New Delhi and Instanbul are now reporting outbreaks of violence similiar to those here at home. Clearly this no longer an American issue.”

London reporter, Trever Hanna, says of Nottinghill, “The city, it seems, is being overrun by man-eating creatures” As well, Australia has grounded all flights, and declared an emergency national quarantine due to similar hysteria.

Both medical and military experts appear to be at a loss to explain the attacks, except to say that the rapid spread of violent behavior may indicate an airborne virus. However, Dr. Wesley Coller, author of “U.S.A. Bomb,” refutes this.

“Most of these so-called ‘experts’ are looking in the wrong direction,” says Coller. “The problem is not chemical, nor biological. It’s psychological. What we’re witnessing here is the spontaneous combustion of a pent-up rage fueled by frustration over a pressurized society. It’s the snapped postal worker on a national level.”

dead-body-in-morgueA more bizarre explanation is offered by Dr. Richard Quartermass, a medical examiner in the area where the hysteria began.

As seen in alarming footage following Channel 3’s report, an emaciated corpse strapped to an examining table in the morgue, appears to “re-animate.”

“The dead are walking,” says Quartermass. And he warns, “Do not come in contact with any of these…these…zombies.” The remainder of the footage is graphic and disturbing, but unsubstantiated as yet.

In a related Breaking News broadcast, Channel 12 reports on a quarantine in effect as a result of a “super flu” which causes chills, fever, and leaves its victims in a “catatonic state” or produces “delusional, aggressive behavior.”


Zombie News Wednesday

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  1. Pingback: This Gives Child Bumpers a New Meaning | Sylver Blaque

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