Queen of Bloody Bitches I

Once upon a bloody bitch, there lived the Queen of bloody bitches.

bloody-mary

Her name was Mary Tudor.

And she became known as Bloody Mary.

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You are born in 1516 England, and your father is King Henry VIII

king-henry-VIII

He’s a tyrant of a King. He will become notorious for killing his wives when they do not borne sons for him. Which is exactly why he is poisoning your mother, Queen Catherine of Aragon.

But there are other reasons, as well.

Besides failing to borne a son for your father the King, your mother the Queen is growing old. There are younger ladies at court who capture your philandering father’s eye

One in particular.

Anne Boleyn.

A scarlet slut.

She was one of your mother’s ladies-in-waiting, and now she has stolen your father’s attentions.The betrayal! Your mother, the most loving, pious woman on God’s Catholic earth, has been supplanted by this Boleyn harlot.

They are all trollops, these Boleyn wenches. 

Anne’s sister Mary was your father’s mistress as well. But Mary was voluptuous, blonde, and beautiful. 

mary_boleyn-portrait

Anne is not; she is thin and plain, homely even. There are no womanly curves about Anne’s body whatsoever. Yet somehow, she captures the attention of men at court with her thick dark hair, smoldering cat-eyes, and the way in which she tilts her head. Men laugh heartily at her witticisms, and flock to hear her sing or play the piano and harpsichord. That, you must give her; she is quite learned and artistically gifted.

anne-boleyn-portrait

Nevertheless, this bitch must die.

She has caused your tyrant King father to defy the holy Pope, and abolish Catholicism (God forgive him!) in order to have his marriage to your mother annulled so that he may marry this flirtatious, opportunistic, sacrilegious Protestant Boleyn whore.

The annulment not only devastated your mother emotionally, it eradicated the legitimacy of your own birth, reverting your status to royal bastard.

medieval-portrait-jesus-crucifiction

And, though the people of England despise the Boleyn wench nearly as much as you do, they have not protested en masse.

You are aghast, outraged that they did not rise up and revolt against the loss of their Queen mother, and worse, the loss of God’s one true religion! 

A portion of the realm even rejoiced in your father the King’s pairing with this Protestant whore, daring to make public their own heretofore hidden Protestant leanings.Vile traitors against God! They shall roast in the flames of Hell for this sacrilege!

You shall see to it.

This Boleyn strumpet, with her flowing ebony tresses and the batting of a sluttocks eyes, has blithely decimated the three things you hold most dear: your mother the Queen, your Catholic religion, and your daddy’s girl status with your father the King.

Not to mention your position in the royal succession.

Straight away, seeming moments after her sacrilegious royal wedding to your father, the harlot Boleyn birthed a child — a step-bitch of a sibling, Elizabeth, with whom you must now battle for succession rights to the crown when your father the King dies.

The Boleyn bitch shall pay for birthing your rival.

queen-elizabeth-I

Your rival shall pay for her existence.

The entire realm shall pay for everything your beloved mother endured…and for everything you are suffering now.

Yes.

They shall pay.

Everyone in the realm who failed to support your beloved mother the Queen in her valiant fight against annulment . Everyone who sat idle as she was poisoned and killed by your father the King under the influence, you are sure, of his jealous Boleyn whore. Everyone who stood by and watched as your beloved Catholicism was eradicated, supplanted by vile Protestantism. 

They shall all pay.

You shall see their blood run…

queen-mary-I-as-bloody-mary

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See how Mary beats all odds to become ruler, and launch her reign of blood, torture, and  entrails as ‘Bloody Mary’ 

in

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Read Sylver’s Medieval Monday Bloody Bitches series!

medieval-man-pulling-away-from-bloody-medieval-woman

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Medieval Monday

sylverblaque-medieval-monday

6 thoughts on “Queen of Bloody Bitches I

  1. I like Catherine of Aragon, and I definitely think Mary I gets a bad rep, but Anne Bolyen was an amazing woman also. I don’t like Elizabeth I very much however.

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