I love forums.

They are my digital lifeline.

Nearly all helpers in forums are intelligent, experienced, helpful, patient, and likable. Not to mention beneficent for taking time out daily to lead the blind.


These forum gods and goddesses are the kind of people us newbies worship more than celebs.

When they die, we will be at their funerals crying hysterically. No one will be able to console us.

But then there are the -icks (fill in the blank with whichever letter you like – ‘d’… ‘pr’…whatever).

Icks are forum experts from Hell.

Luckily, they are few and far between but when they rear their icky heads, they can make you feel like a hairy Neanderthal banging out digital kinks with a club.

-Icks are, I am convinced, direct descendants of Joe & Jane Ahole from Prickville, Kissmyassland.

In Prickville, everyone is extraordinarily left-brain evolved, but blatantly deficient in the most rudimentary social skills. They give answers that begin with, “Sigh,” and “Everyone knows…,” and “Common sense dictates…” They have usernames like ‘yruanidiot,’ ‘iknomorethanulmao,’ and ‘ihavesuperpowers&udontsobitemedumbass.’


Forum answers from -icks boast impressive knowledge of all things digital in language which only an inbred Prickville relative can decipher. God help the dumb-ass who replies, “I don’t understand.”

Ground beef, anyone?

Here’s what I’d like icks to know:

1. We know you think we’re morons. You make that very clear. We. Get. It.

2. You are already a god in our dumb-ass eyes. You don’t have to grind us to dust to prove it.

3. Yes, there are areas in which we are brain-dead. That’s why we’re sucking on yours. No need to choke us with it.

4. Repeating the same incomprehensible language in all caps, italicized, or prefaced by “I just explained that,” does not clarify anything for us. It just makes us want to see you fall into a wood chipper.

For all other forum gods & goddesses…rock on! We love ya!

But could you reel in your -ick brethren?


What’s you experience in forums?

Have you been -icked?


Random Topic Tuesday




7 thoughts on “Forums

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  4. Forums can be the best…and they can also be mean, catty, and hurtful. That said, I have been posting with same group of women since our pregnancies in 2002. Forums can get nasty, but they can also be a wonderful source of support and information.

    • You are so right. I’ve had only a couple of -icks…not mean or catty, just condescending and impatient. But I remember them : / The bites are healing now, though…

      I think we’re all lucky that the majority of helpers are really wonderful. My friends & I joke about what kind of people we hope survive with us (because you never die in your own make-believe scenarios) in a zombie attack on the world. Right up there with doctors, dogs, and cute guys (okay, and maybe a shoe designer or two) are forum helpers. Gotta be able to get online even during a zombie apocalypse! ; – >

      Thanx for your comment!

  5. Ya know what pisses me off about forums? Too many damn rules! If you know of a product that solves a problem and mention it, that’s ok. But if you own a product that solves a problem and have the slightest tone of a sales pitch, they kick your ass out like you were banging on the door trying to sell them the brooklyn bridge (again)! ;P I mean really what’s the big deal if you’re providing a solution!? I get so frustrated with all the governance that I end up not offering assistance at all. This defeats the purpose of a web 2.0 environment, but hey I that’s what they want to promote then I’ll taketh and not giveth the -ickiest -icks!

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