You belong to the Swartzentruber Amish sect.
But not to the Old Order; they have become much too modernized for your taste.
Instead of following more diligently the laws of the Old Order Ordnung – which dictate every aspect of Amish lifestyle from wardrobe to hair length for women, from buggy laws to farming techniques for men – the Old Order Ordnung, sadly, in your opinion, began embracing all manner of 21st century evils.
The women began wearing bright colors, like blues that weren’t navy, browns that were nearly beige, and grays that may as well be dingy white. And the men brought electricity into their homes – even telephones, for heaven’s sake! Everyone knows that a telephone in the home is a direct connection to the wickedness of the outside world.
Owning vain items, creating inequality within the community, and destroying the family structure is not something you care to embrace, thank you very much.
You, proudly, belong to the honorable sect of Swartzentruber Amish – the True Old Order. The sect that wisely branched off from the modernizing Old Order. You follow the True Old Order Ordnung – the most conservative and restrictive laws of all Amish Ordnungs.
You are an honorable Amish woman.
You awaken before dawn each morning, pray, and dress carefully according to True Old Order Ordnung guidelines,
Beginning with your underwear.