Don’t Try This Outside Your Home

people-yawning If you ever get the urge to yawn in public…don’t.

You might get arrested.

Sweating in public is also risky.

In fact, here’s a list of natural bodily functions and behaviors that, for your own safety and continued freedom, you should never try in public:

1.Yawning” during conversation.

No matter how dull the speaker, keep you eyes wide with interest and your mouth firmly closed.

man-scratching-his-nose2.  Touching your face more than once.

Though “repetitive touching of the face” is a natural habit (to scratch, rub an eye, etc.), suppress it. Your freedom may depend upon it.

3. Keep your breathing steady.

No provision is made for asthmatics, people with heart conditions, runners, or any other impetus for “an increased breathing rate.” So, be safe – consider confining your medical condition or hobby to your home.

4. Do not sweat in an “unusual” way.

It is unclear exactly what kind of sweat is deemed to be “unusual,” therefore it’s probably a sound strategy to suppress all sweat – both usual and unusual – to keep from appearing suspicious.

person-crawling5.  Pacing.

and

6. Standing still.

Do neither. Which leaves sitting, laying, and crawling as the only safe options – since jumping and running may cause you to sweat in an “unusual” way.

Why, you ask, must we forgo these natural bodily activities?

Well, it seems that the New Jersey Office of Homeland Security and Preparedness has released a new pamphlet for citizens which outlines tips for spotting and reporting “suspicious activities and behaviors.”

As reported by RT News, the document -entitled “Terrorism Awareness & Prevention” – is aimed at “raising awareness on how New Jersey residents can help combat terrorism.”

According to the “yawning” images in this report, a number of world leaders appear to be in danger of being mistaken for terrorists. However, judging by the punishment passes and bailouts granted to the West’s wealthy and powerful, these leaders have nothing to fear.

Unless they’re from the Middle East.

no-yawning

Have you engaged in natural behaviors that may brand you a terrorist?

.

World News Wednesday

sylverblaque-world-news-wednesday

13 thoughts on “Don’t Try This Outside Your Home

  1. I have a sorority sister who lives in New Jersey with her family. Her husband (caucasian by the way) happens to have long hair, pulled into a ponytail. Last week he was pulled over 4 times! He was not breaking any laws…he just looked like trouble.

  2. I was reading one of the tomes that Congress produces regularly. It was so lengthy that I began dozing off and yawning. As I started to assimilate the contents, I began scratching my head in disbelief (though I don’t know if that constitutes face-touching). When I realized what this legislation was about I began breathing unsteadily in fear and perspiration involuntarily formed in my underarms. When I finally realized the implication of what was being proposed I began pacing the floor uncontrolably.

    I read your post and cancelled my planned trip to the Jersey shore.

  3. I saw another post, I can’t remember, that listed dozens of perfectly normal actions and behaviors that the security agencies have profiled as dangerous and suspicious. It has become absurdly crazy. Bin Laden must be laughing.

  4. I read your post out to my partner – you’re so funny – if only this wasn’t so serious. And the last paragraph so true. Hi to you Sylver – saw you on Cari’s Nighlon site – your comment about my book). Glad I found you, this is a topic I follow and sadly it will get worse before something happens to change it. Which is why I focus so much on deliberately creating our own reality, so we’re not at the mercy of this others, govts and this ‘stuff’. Cya :)

    • Hi, Janet! I’m thrilled to receive your comment – thank you for stopping by. :) So glad you got a chuckle from my post. Just got a copy of your book & can’t wait to devour it.

      “How to Get Anything You Want, Just Like That” http://janetpoole.com/about-janet/

      Your message is such a vital one of accountability & self-empowerment which, I believe, should be distributed in place of this new Homeland Security Preparedness “Guide.” I count humanity lucky to have authors like you sharing true wisdom with the masses!

      • Thanks Sylver you’re very kind, and ta for the link. Fortunately with the internet, if we want to we can be very well-informed about what is really happening with our world. I’ve chosen to focus on empowering ourselves and yes, thinking for ourselves rather than sitting back and allowing the media or govts to tell us what to do. Thanks for bringing these things to our attention.

        Do stay in touch – love to get your thoughts about my book!

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