Queen of Bloody Bitches II

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

              How does your garden grow?

                               With silver bells and cockle shells

                                                    And pretty maids all in a row.”

queen-mary-tudor

You are ready now.

To flood the streets of England with Protestant blood.

At long last, you are finally Queen.

.

headless-anne-boleyn

You have outlived your first queen step-mother, that Boleyn whore whom your father, King Henry VIII, ultimately beheaded on questionable charges of incest and adultery.

Questionable to all but you, that is. You have no doubt this royal-made harlot was every bit as salacious as your father the King charged.

queen-jane-seymour

You have also outlived your second queen step-mother, Jane Seymour, who died giving birth to the royal son (thereby escaping beheading), Edward VI, whom your father the King sired with her.

Her family shall pay for her sin of birthing this son to supplant your rightful position in the royal succession.

anne_of_cleves

Following this outrage, you patiently watched from the sidelines as your royal father laid waste to your third queen step-mother, Anne of Cleves, whom he found so unhygienic and sexually distasteful that he chose the quicker option of divorce rather than beheading in order to get rid of her as expediently as possible.

Good riddance to smelly rubbish.

catherine-howard

And you have outlived your teenage fourth queen step-mother, Catherine Howard, who was exposed to have not been a virgin when she married your father the King, and thereby lost her head as well. Silly slut.

But you are not in the least surprised. She was, after all, a cousin of the whore Boleyn.

edwardVI

Moreover, you have outlived your fiercely Protestant young step-brother Edward, who was crowned after your father the King died.

Yes, you have even outlived your tyrant King father.

And upon Edward’s death, when his royal advisors crowned your cousin Jane Gray instead of you, Catholic England rose an army for you to dethrone that traitor and place the crown upon the proper head.

medieval_crown



Yours.

 

 

 

Surely, your survival of lo these many royals is God’s work.

It is He who has cleared the path for you, so that you may clear all England of the Protestantism your step-brother instituted during his short reign.

It is God who has swept away all those Protestant royals blocking your path to the throne. And it is He who now bids you to return England to its proper faith – the one, true faith….Catholicism.

And if, in the process, blood is drained from all those who have made your life hell, so be it.

Retribution is a bloody bitch.

.

See the cause of Bloody Mary’s fiery rage

in

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Learn the gory details of how this enraged Queen established a reign of blood, torture, and entrails  

in

Queen of Bloody Bitches III 

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Read Sylver’s Medieval Monday Bloody Bitches series!

medieval-man-pulling-away-from-bloody-medieval-woman

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Medieval Monday

sylverblaque-medieval-monday

 

3 thoughts on “Queen of Bloody Bitches II

  1. Pingback: 5 Medieval Facts of Life | Sylver Blaque

  2. Pingback: Queen of Bloody Bitches III | Sylver Blaque

  3. Pingback: Queen of Bloody Bitches I | Sylver Blaque

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